


(Guys Like Us Are) Cool In College

by SleeplessInGeneral



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Ace Christine, But then again who is, F/F, Gen, Genderfluid Jeremy Heere, I suck at tagging, M/M, Multi, activist Rich, gc fic what a cliche, rather ooc really, tagged as I go along, too many goddamn references, you’ll have to wait and see what that means
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-22
Updated: 2017-11-22
Packaged: 2019-02-05 10:57:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12793107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleeplessInGeneral/pseuds/SleeplessInGeneral
Summary: holyvalentine: classic as in 50s Americanajakeyd: Chloe what are you doingholyvalentine: summoning your boyfriend——The gc fic no one asked for, but totally is going to happen.





	(Guys Like Us Are) Cool In College

**Author's Note:**

> This is unbeta’d and written on my phone. A dangerous combination, I know.
> 
> This whole thing started as a joke with a friend. As are most things for me. I started writing short pieces and that’s where I am right now.
> 
> Just to note that while the usernames aren’t creative, they will change. The only one truly creative in my opinion is Christine and that’s only because I really feel like I could crack so many theater jokes about her.  
> And also that this is... a couple months from now? Circa March or something. It's kinda weird, I know, but much like my DEH fics, I don't update regularly. There is quite the possibility that it'll go on for long past March, if you get what I'm trying to say.  
> And that's about it.

_[ **holyvalentine** created group: **SQUIP SQUAD™** ]_

_[ **holyvalentine** added **bibitch** , **heereandqueer** , **gaymellon** , **brookelyn** , **thatgirlwhodied** , **jakeyd** and **jennabun** ]_

holyvalentine: classic as in 50s Americana

jakeyd: Chloe what are you doing

holyvalentine: summoning your boyfriend

bibitch: DESIRABLE APPLIES TO CHOICE. SO MANY WOMEN DID/DO NOT GET ONE.

holyvalentine: like magic.

heereandqueer: HEARING ABOUT POLITICS AT A PLAY ABOUT POLITICS?

bibitch: NO, DEFINITELY NOT WHY ANYONE WAS THERE...

holyvalentine: I feel like I made a mistake

heereandqueer: EVERY TIME YOU HAVE TO SET YOUR ALARM TO 5AM WITHOUT A CHILD, A PARENT SOMEWHERE GETS TO SLEEP IN

brookelyn: ARE THERE ANY MALE PORN SPAM BOTS? OR LESBIAN PORN SPAM BOTS?

holyvalentine: okay now I’m just confused

holyvalentine: et tu, Brookie?

brookelyn: YOU TRIGGERED IT CHLO

brookelyn: FACE THE CONSEQUENCES

holyvalentine: still don’t get it

holyvalentine: anyway Richie I need help

bibitch: ZELDA WILLIAMS TWEETS WHATS NOT TO UNDERSTAND FFS MISS CHLOE VALENTINE

bibitch: but sure what can I help you with

holyvalentine: what did you get for question four?

gaymellon: wait, is this about calc?

bibitch: p-16

bibitch: I know -p+1 seems the most likely

bibitch: trust me it isn’t

holyvalentine: THANK YOU

bibitch: no prob love

bibitch: it was a really easy one tbh

gaymellon: wait what

gaymellon: oh yeah I forgot that Rich is a genius

bibitch: eat your wordth, athhole!

gaymellon: I hate you Goranski

bibitch: and I love you Mell

thatgirlwhodied: are we quoting Zelda Williams?!?!

thatgirlwhodied: I wanna quote Zelda too!

heereandqueer: go for it!

thatgirlwhodied: AS FAR AS WAYS TO GO, DEATH BY SATANISTS IS PRETTY PUNK ROCK

heereandqueer: NO. CHRIS. JUST. NO.

brookelyn: MY POOR TEARDUCTS.

jakeyd: Chloe when I asked what are you doing I meant why did you create a gc and called it squip squad

holyvalentine: with a tm!

holyvalentine: I really wanted a gc yknow

holyvalentine: I started thinking about what we’re gonna do after graduation and I still wanna be in contact with y’all

gaymellon: look at you

gaymellon: talking like that

holyvalentine: shush, Michael

gaymellon: ijs

gaymellon: I’m sure we’ll be alright

thatgirlwhodied: I know I’m going to talk to all of you every day, so. No biggie.

gaymellon: Chris you’re going to NYU with Jeremy

bibitch: I’m going to NYU too!

heereandqueer: yes

heereandqueer: but you’re going to study psychology

heereandqueer: and we’ll be at tisch

holyvalentine: MY POINT IS

holyvalentine: you’ll have it easy to stick together

holyvalentine: and then Michael is going to Berklee and Brooke is going to Webster

holyvalentine: and Jake is going to risd god bless your heart my overly talented child

jakeyd: I love you too Chlo

holyvalentine: and Jenna is going to Florida State

holyvalentine: and then there’s me

holyvalentine: lonely little me

jennabun: who is going to Georgetown on a scholarship and got early acceptance because she is talented as fuck

holyvalentine: IM NOT THAT TALENTED

heereandqueer: no, absolutely not

thatgirlwhodied: you only scored 1507 on your SATs

jennabun: and you totally didn’t get into almost all ivy leagues

thatgirlwhodied: and you’re only graduating salutatorian

jakeyd: how this happened is really beyond me tbch

heereandqueer: and yet, Ms. Chloe Valentine is not that talented

thatgirlwhodied: and completely undeserving of a place at Georgetown University

jennabun: such a shame, really

holyvalentine: STOP GUILTTRIPPING ME

heereandqueer: NEVER (in a Michael Cerveris as JWB way)

thatgirlwhodied: never, never, never!

heereandqueer: no, the country is not what it was! *harmonica solo*

bibitch: I dunno

bibitch: I mean, not to get overly sentimental

bibitch: and we don't really know if we really got in or not

holyvalentine: EXCEPT ME

bibitch: EXCEPT YOU YOU GENIUS YOU

holyvalentine: THANKS LOVE

bibitch: so anyway, not to get overly sentimental or anything

bibitch: but I just wanted to say that wherever we end up going

bibitch: I’m gonna miss you guys

heereandqueer: you literally agreed to sign an apartment lease with Zoe Murphy are you out of your goddamn mind

thatgirlwhodied: if you think the president is gonna bring the nation to the brink

heereandqueer: of meddling in the middle of a military mess

brookelyn: a game of chess, where France is queen and kingless

bibitch: we signed a treaty with a king whose head is now in a basket

thatgirlwhodied: would you like to take it out and ask it?

heereandqueer: should we honor our treaty, King Louis’ head?

brookelyn: UH, DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, IM SUPER DEAD!

bibitch: I agreed to sign that lease because I ain’t living in no dorms

heereandqueer: me neither

heereandqueer: lemme live with you!

holyvalentine: who’s Zoe Murphy?

bibitch: Zoe Murphy... how do I even begin to explain Zoe Murphy?

heereandqueer: Zoe Murphy is flawless

thatgirlwhodied: she has two Fendi purses (aka the same bag since seventh grade) and a silver Lexus

heereandqueer: (technically speaking she really could have a silver Lexus)

heereandqueer: I hear her guitar’s insured for $10000

bibitch: I heard she does car commercials.

thatgirlwhodied: in Japan.

bibitch: ITS FROM JAPAAAAAAAAAN

heereandqueer: RICHARD NO

bibitch: RICHARD YES

thatgirlwhodied: her favorite movie is mean girls

bibitch: one time, she met John Stamos on a plane.

thatgirlwhodied: and he told her she was pretty.

heereandqueer: one time, she punched me in the face. It was awesome.

bibitch: but that’s probably the only thing that actually happened.

holyvalentine: still don’t get it.

bibitch: she’s a friend of ours (aka me and Jerry and Christine) from camp from way back when we were seven and we’re still friends.

heereandqueer: she just sent me that one twilight video

bibitch: ALLTIME CLASSIC JERE DONT YOU EVEN FUCKING DARE TO COMPLAIN

brookelyn: what twilight video

holyvalentine: WHAT TWILIGHT VIDEO

thatgirlwhodied: oh my god the twilight video

jakeyd: what’s the twilight video

jennabun: oh no

holyvalentine: JENNA YOU BETTA TELL US WHAT IS THE TWILIGHT VIDEO

_[ **heereandqueer** sent a video]_

bibitch: truly an alltime classic

brookelyn: OHMYGAWRSH

brookelyn: THIS IS ADORABLE

thatgirlwhodied: “yer a wizard, Harry” *Rich doing the home alone pose*

heereandqueer: NO CHRIS AGAIN ABSOLUTELY NOT

holyvalentine: PLEASE EXPLAIN WHY THIS MASTERPIECE EXISTS

jakeyd: is Zoe supposed to be mcsparkles?

brookelyn: HIS NAME IS EDWARD YOU UNCULTURED SWINE

jakeyd: IDGAFLYING FARKNOODLE IM GONNA CALL HIM MCSPARKLES

thatgirlwhodied: flying farknoodle

heereandqueer: yep, she’s supposed to be mcsparkles.

gaymellon: wait what’s the Harry Potter thing

bibitch: WE AINT TALKING BOUT THE HARRY POTTER THING MMKAY BYEEEEEEEEEE

heereandqueer: IF THE TWILIGHT VIDEO IS CLASSIC THEN THE HP THING IS PLATINUM EDITION

_[ **heereandqueer** sent a video]_

bibitch: YOU. ARE. GOING. TO. DIE.

thatgirlwhodied: I CANT BELIEVE YOU HAVE THAT ONE JERE

thatgirlwhodied: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

holyvalentine: WHAT

holyvalentine: W H A T

holyvalentine: BABY RICH IS SO ADORABLE

holyvalentine: I CANT EVEN

holyvalentine: HOW DO YOU BREATHE

jakeyd: Rich I love you

bibitch: I love you too Jake but HOLY FUCKING GOD JEREMY I WILL KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP

brookelyn: why did you even do that

brookelyn: don’t get me wrong I’m impressed and I absolutely adore these

brookelyn: but why

thatgirlwhodied: we were bored and about thirteen years old

thatgirlwhodied: make your own assumptions

holyvalentine: I’m gonna miss y’all at college

heereandqueer: I’m gonna miss you too Chloe

jennabun: I’m not gonna miss any of you

thatgirlwhodied: Jenna...?

jennabun: I won’t have the time to miss any of you

jennabun: maybe on weekends when I’m high af at frat parties

heereandqueer: didn’t fsu ban Greek life?

holyvalentine: nope

holyvalentine: just suspended

jennabun: indefinitely, which means there might be parties

heereandqueer: that’s still a suspension

jennabun: you guys are no fun

jakeyd: speak for yourself

bibitch: Jake you are not moving to Florida to go to frat parties with Jenna

heereandqueer: seconded

thatgirlwhodied: thirded

holyvalentine: fourded

brookelyn: what’s fourded?

holyvalentine: what comes after thirded, obvi

gaymellon: what’s the deal with frat parties anyway?

jennabun: the AUTHENTIC COLLEGE EXPERIENCE™

heereandqueer: wasn’t it you who said that guys like us are cool in college, Mikey?

gaymellon: I hate all of you

heereandqueer: but I love you Mikey

gaymellon: correction

gaymellon: I hate all of you except Jeremy

heereandqueer: I love you Mikey

holyvalentine: quality wholesome content right over yonder guyses

brookelyn: I thought we agreed you never use this word again, Chlo

holyvalentine: THIS IS MY GC AND I DO WHAT I WANT

holyvalentine: and if I say MEREMY IS WHOLESOME

holyvalentine: THAT MEANS THAT MEREMY IS WHOLESOME

heereandqueer: meremy...?

thatgirlwhodied: you keep using that word

thatgirlwhodied: I do not think it means what you think it means

holyvalentine: GODDAMMIT CHRISTINE

bibitch: GOOD GIRL CHRISTINE

**Author's Note:**

> One of the friends I sent this to (as screenshots of my phone) literally told me “I love that basically all of them are in love with Zelda Williams and I’m like, same, yeah, same.”  
> Zelda Williams is queen and should be treated as such.  
> Enough said.
> 
> The twilight scene is... basically Jeremy and Zoe parodying the “I know what you are” scene from twilight. With Zoe as McSparkles. And Jeremy as Bella. It’s been a joke between me and my friends since I started my DEH roleplay.
> 
> For the (assumed) few of you who read my DEH fanfics, I’m not abandoning them, I just have very little time to write. Between work, school, catching up on sleep (I’m severely sleep deprived) and other things. This is written on my phone at work. My DEH fics, on the other hand, have to be written on my laptop because of reasons. I haven’t had time to use my laptop for a hot minute and I don’t think I’ll have it for another. So sorry about that. But I promise, I have not abandoned them!


End file.
